Z.Monkey’s Blog

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 Eat your Fiber!

September 22, 2005 at 10:23 am  |  uncategorized

I have been regular lately.

There are two things that I wanted to write about today, and neither of them are me complaining. First off, Heidi and I watched Life Aquatic last night. It was an excellent movie and I especially liked two things (where’s my fucking Ark?), the Bowie remakes played throughout the movie, and the ridiculousness of the action scenes. A good example of this is when Steve flips out and starts shooting at the Pirates who have taken over his boat. Bullets everywhere but the only two people are hurt: the intern, and the pirate who matchets him. This helps to emphasize the importance of the dialog while giving the view an amusing side show. Well done.

Second off, I am almost done reading Hocus Pocus and I am continuously surprised about how viciously the wealthy are describe in it. In the world of Eugene Debs Hartke the rich have sold all the property to foreign companies, then bought stock in those companies. This allows the wealthy to stay rich without having to be responsible for anything. The rich are a different species, they are no longer American, they do not care about Americans, they are detached. An example of this in the real world could be the growing number of gated communities (the idea behind these is to lock undesirables out so you no longer have to see them… for safety’s sake). Anyways, I have to write a paper on outsourcing for my class and I think I might make a juxtaposition between how Sony runs the Athena prison in Hocus Pocus and how American multinational companies run their businesses in other countries. At the very least I may make a reference, just to sound intellegent.

Z.Monkey

 Ringed with Fire

September 21, 2005 at 1:26 pm  |  uncategorized

I am currently sitting here. Wondering what I need to do. Wondering what I can do. I need to get shit done but I am handicapped by other people, people I cannot yell at, people who I cannot plead with, people who are ‘too busy’. Yesterday in class (Organziational Behavior, blah) we talked about the four types of people, called Dominator-a-tron, Bullshit-a-tron, Passivator-a-tron, and Analretainer-a-tron. These are the names! I am not bullshitting you! Anyway, I think that I have been dealing with only dominator-a-trons (with an occasional passivator-a-tron) lately. These people go around yelling, “Get Shit Done! Get Shit Done!” Even when you ask, “What shit?! How does one do Shit? When does shit need to get done? e&c.” Sigh.

Also, it turns out that I am going to Finland next week. This is something I knew, but as stuff keeps getting pushed back (Can you keep a deadline?! Because I know some people who can’t!) it so happens that I will have a lot of work to do here next week. Which means that I have to make sure that other people have the knowledge I have, or at least think I have, but people I need to lean on do not seem interested in learn/practicing/e&c. Sigh.

Does anyone actually enjoy what they do? If so let me know and let me know why? Are you a Dominator-a-tron, a Bullshit-a-tron, a Passivator-a-tron, or a Analretainer-a-tron? I am apparently a Bullshit-a-tron with passive tendancies. What does that mean? Do I need to measure my skull size?

I can’t wait for hockey to start so I can release some tension… I do not handle tension well.

Z.Monkey

 Letter Block

September 20, 2005 at 7:56 am  |  uncategorized

AHPUNCTUATIONITISACOMPANIONTHATHELPTOLIGHTTHEWAYWHENTHINGSLOOKDIFFI
CULTHEREISWHATHAPPENSIFYOUDONOTUSEPUNCTUATIONANDYESTHESPACEISAFORMO
FPUNCTUATIONANYWAYSHEIDIASKEDMEWHATTYPEOFWORKWOULDMAKEMEHAPPYLASTNI
GHTANDMYHONESTANSWERWASIHAVENOIDEAITHOUGHTABOUTTHATALITTLEBITLASTNI
GHTANDINASLIGHTLYPESSIMISTICMOODIREALIZEDTHATIWOULDLIKETODOSOMETHIN
GTHATISNOTUSEFULSOMETHINGTHATDOESNOTRESULTINTHEBETTERMENTOFMANKINDO
RANYTHINGGRANDIOUSKEEPINMINDTHATIDONOTWANTTODOANYTHINGDESTRUCTIVEOR
HURTFULTOEITHERPEOPLEORTHEENVIRONMENTJUSTSOMETHINGUSELESSOFCOURSEID
ONOTHAVEACLEARIDEAWHATTYPEOFUSELESSTHINGIMIGHTWANTTODOWHATCANIDOWOR
KONADICTIONARYWRITEABOOKDESIGNBATHROOMWALLHANGINGSPROOFREADSTUFFTHA
TWILLNEVERBEPUBLISHEDISANYOFTHATACTUALLYUSELESSMAYBEITISHELPFULTOSO
MEONESIGHIAMMOSTLIKELYJUSTBEINGGLOOMYPERHAPSTHISISJUSTARESPONSETOWH
ATIAMCURRENTLYDOINGATWORKWELLWEWILLSEEHOWTODAYTURNSOUTANDTHENTOMORR
OWANDTHENTHENEXTDAYZMONKEYPSIAMNOTUSINGIETODAYHURRAH

 1876

September 19, 2005 at 9:41 am  |  uncategorized

As I sit here right now, I wonder. I wonder what it is I have written in this pile. Is it anything worth while? Hmm…

This is my centennial post. I marks a turning point in my country. From this point forward we (I) will no longer look to simply survive but to spread our (my) righteous way of life to all corners of the planet. It is time for a new Monroe Doctorine. It is inappropriate for you to reprimand us (me) for what you see as exploitation and destruction of others. MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! It is your business you say? Because we (I) am exploiting you? That is what the destruction is for, to shut your ass up!

Sigh. I know not where that came from. I will attempt to keep my crazy outburst to myself… but then they would only be crazy internal dialogs. No, that’s not right!

Z.Monkey

 Bacchanalia

September 18, 2005 at 10:58 am  |  uncategorized

I am attempt to put up a quick post just to keep everyone entertained… eventhough the dearth of comments leads me to believe that no one is reading this. Anyways, I here at work eventhough it is Sunday (much to Heidi’s annoyance) for one reason. If I did not make some showing here today I would be freaking out Monday morning. I do not know why, but now that I have been here and done a little bit of work I feel better. I feel as if everything will not come unglued tomorrow. I know this is probably a false hope but if one feels positive, everything at least seems better. Now, as I just crashed Ethereal, I think that I will call it a day. I went through one device and worked on the testing notes.

Time to watch some football, perhaps play some Mario Baseball and read some Vonnegut.

Z.Monkey

P.S. IE still sucks.

 Poop Collection

September 15, 2005 at 8:58 am  |  uncategorized

I, for some reason, wanted to see if the image I sent to Engrish.com was ever posted. It is not but this was the post of the day:

Burn, Tecumseh, Burn

I do not know why a collection of poop struck me (haha) as both funny and poignant. I guess I know why it is funny but poignant? Perhaps it is a metaphor for life, as people are, for lack of a more amusing term, poop collectors. We spend most of our lives collection stuff: business cards, TVs, books (woooh), kitchen appliances, memories, friends, music, e&c. Most of this we never really use to its fullest extent. Hmm…

Tonight I will go to a class with one of the most unorganized, sporadic professors I have ever had. At first I thought that it would be a waste of time but I think if I sit back and just watch it just might be an enjoyable show. It will be another piece of poop to stick with a whole bunch of other unrelated poop. It sometimes seems like the poop inside my head is not coagulating into anything… I think it should turn into something! At the very least a giant poop monster.

Sigh, I think this is something a lot of people feel. Things just do not seem to come together in any coherent way. One does not know where one is going and one barely knows where one has been. (That kind of sounds like something from Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead) That is all I have for now, to work!

Z.Monkey

P.S. I would like to note that I am once again using IE for this post and it is bothering me.

 Fucking Gaylord

September 14, 2005 at 9:02 am  |  uncategorized

That is what you are UNH.

Yesterday I went to my (free) class and I needed to use my laptop to do some work on a presentation… apparently the person in my group who put together the presentation did not think spell checking was necessary. Anyway, UNH requires that everyone log there computer when they initially log on. But they are stupid. Now everytime I try to come to this weblog using Firefox I am required to logon. !&%&((@#+*%!! or Fucking Gaylord! This is annoying because I normally use Firefox because I hate the fonts in IE.

My life is pain?

 With Shamelessly Disregard

September 12, 2005 at 8:19 am  |  uncategorized

I would like to let everyone know that I have written many things for this weblog since my last post. I have simply never completed one. There is something difficult about being stopped in the middle of an idea and trying to pick it up half a day later.

So… Saturday, after doing some homework for a class I am taking, Heidi, Jeff and I went to my parents house for dinner. My parents recently got back from Hawaii and wanted to show us some pictures they took. For those who do not know, some equals ~500. While I was a little overwhelm by the shear volume of pictures (most of which were of volcanoes) there were some pretty cool shots. I would post some but I did not bring the photo CD with me to work.*

Some after departing we made our way to a bar in ManchVegas to see some friends of ours and a band. The tenor sax player was wearing some tight fitting jeans, just for the ladies. Anyway, the band played some blues (and not martini bar blues either) and some people danced to it (Including what looked like a pair of wife-swapping couples who danced terribly. It was so bad that I felt self-conscious when my wife asked/forced me to the dance). If you followed the bar link above you will have noted that the Strangebrew is a ‘Beer Specialist’. Would a Beer Specialist run out of the Beer Special! Well they ran out of $2 Harpoon Octoberfest! I was forced to drink $2 Guinness instead! All in all a good night.

Yesterday was nice and lazy. I did nothing but play some Mario and watch TV (football and crap). It was nice. I cannot remember the last time I was able to be that lazy. Now I have to shake the desire to do nothing and start working. Booyah!

Z.Monkey

P.S. I did not proof read what I just wrote. I wonder how many examples of bad grammar you can find. My posts are like ‘Where’s Waldo’ for English teachers… yes I am calling Waldo a mistake. I know his parents!

*Yes I am writing this at work. I will work my 8 hours, never you fear.

 Colloquialism

September 6, 2005 at 11:45 pm  |  uncategorized

Hello. It has been a while.

I have noticed lately that I have started using cliches, banalities, colloquialisms or balderdashes more often. In the past I always thought of these phrases as unoriginal, but recently I have started to realize that they are simply a way of making a complex idea understood using relatively few words. For example, I keep hearing the following phrase, “Do more with less!” (I am pretty sure that the exclamation point is always included in this phrase.) This is not a phrase that I will be using in the near future for the following reason. It is not true. What this phrase actually means is that you need to do more work but that you will not get paid for it. Basically, you are (here comes a very derogatory cliche) being Jewed.

Aside: Being ‘Jewed’… this phrase kind of amuses me, mostly because of what I imagine is its origin. I imagine that it comes from the middle ages when Jews lived in Catholic communities. These communities saw that the Jewish communities were not tithing (tithing supported many social programs: burial of dead, housing of orphans, keeping town records, e&c.) and assumed that they hoarding money. This was not helped by the Catholic rule against collecting interest, which the Jewish community took advantage of by becoming moneylenders. Here seems like a good time to make a token reference to Shylock… :p

Anyways, my point is Jebus was the name of Jerusalem prior to the invasion of the Jews so “Help me Jebus!” makes no sense. Also, the following are things I have been saying lately:

  • I can’t remember any… Fuck off.

Z.Monkey

 I Condone the Use of Pictures

August 24, 2005 at 1:55 pm  |  uncategorized

I will attempt to write something more substantial as my last couple post have been appalling. It looks like I will be going to Finland at the end of next month (26th to 29th of September)… I wonder if it would be easier/faster to fly out of Boston.

Anyway, more to the point. I just finished a book on the Great War, the War to End all Wars, or, as it is known today, World War I. The more times I read up on stuff like this the more I realize that nothing ever really changes. When there is a War or, in our case, an armed occupation of a country, there needs to be a compelling reason to fight. For WWII there was the attack by the Japanese and for the Civil War there was the South being stupid, i.e. A physical threat to the civilian population or the economy. I still do not know the reason for entering Vietnam or Iraq and I think that WWI also falls into this same ‘What the fuck are we doing’ category. There was no direct threat to the US population (thanks to the Atlantic Ocean), there was no direct threat to the Economy (we were making Billions financing the War), and the Bolsheviks were in Russian and did not come to power until after the US got involved.

To make the country ready and willing for war a huge propaganda program was created. This program played sections of the population against each other (Old Americans vs. Immigrants, Immigrants vs. Blacks) and gave everyone something to hate. End the end Wilson forced us into WWI to bring about his idealized future with Democracy for everyone and league of nations… he failed. This seems very similar to what is going on today. We have all given something to hate and something to fear, but what are we really fighting for? Is it something like Wilson’s childish fantasy or something more grotesque?


The world may never know.

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