Z.Monkey’s Blog

I was think last night (pause to get coffee and bagel)… ah that is better. I was think last night that I get easily distracted and not just by pretty lights, loud noises, e&c. but by myself. I have been having some difficulties with not interrupting my thought processes. It is like I have a heckler in my brain who keeps making me forget my lines (”Stwange Twests of Fate!”). For example, writing this thing has been extremely difficult. I have interrupted myself to read my email, write an email, eat my bagel, discover that ‘no salt’ peanut butter is gross, read a report, and read the news.

Maybe there is some sort of remedy for my lack of concentration… something other than Ritalin. Aside:I think that most people need to take responsibility for their insanities and stop overmedicating. Some sort of mental exercise or something. Maybe I could make a list that details my day and ignore anything that does not fit that list. This is my plan for today:

1. Sit in my chair
2. Turn on music (Handel maybe?)
3. Turn off brain
4. Have lunch
5. Read Webcomics, etc. (see list of links to the right)
6. Go home

I will let you know how this plan works out.

Z.Monkey

It is the beginning of a new week and I have already started out on the right foot by getting a crap-load of stuff done that I could not seem to get to last week. I may have another vendor in this week and I hope he is not as needy as the last. As for this weekend it was nice. I did some reading. I did some running (5.6 miles loop or something… I believe it may have been all up hill). I did some enjoying of the nice weather.

I have a game this evening, which is fortunate. The Red Sox home opener is also today, which would be fortunate if it did not start at 3pm. What the fuck is with all the games so far this year?! Do they think that people can just up and leave work to watch a sporting event? Erp. Back to work.

Z.Monkey

P.S. I kinda feel like posting something regarding my place in the world/how insignificant I am/how I do not appreciate what is around me enough/my uncanny ability to stall any conversation or my ability to ruin any and all narratives. But instead I will go get a cup of crappy coffee.

Apparently I selected something stupid in the weblog options. It is no longer set because of him!

Z.Monkey

[Update] WTF mate.  What was I talking about?!

Where I work there is a constant influx of people we call vendors. This is a misleading title as they are not actually selling us anything. Anyways, these vendors come from all parts of the world (though a large number of them come from southern California), which can cause some issues. The following is some advice that may be useful to our vendors (read: a list of complaints):

1. We often have to work in close proximity so please: shower, brush your teeth and use deodorant.
2. Use words not ambiguous body language (do not be a bobblehead).
3. Please understand your own equipment. Do not expect me to debug why your shit will not turn on.
4. Consume food on a regular basis. Do not expect me to work through lunch.
5. Rent a car or take a taxi. I do not want to have to pick you up before or drop you off after work (If your company will not pay for a car rental or a few taxi rides I recommend looking for a new place of employment).
6. Bring a change of clothing. It is not appropriate to wear the same outfit for an entire week… it will start to smell.
7. Know how to use your computer and your company’s VPN. It really is not that difficult.

That is all I can think of at the moment. Perhaps there will be more.

Z.Monkey

Is it a weblog? Is it a comic? Will it become either? Where are my pants?

It is Wednesday and I am worn out. A couple guys from work are bailing after their 1pm class to go to the TP for beer and baseball. I would definitely be there if it were not for the fact that I have to baby sit a vendor all day. Well at least I will not have to watch the game with a Yankees fan… crap I wont even be able to watch the game (stupid 1 of the clock games). If you are bored you can play around with the new peeping tom feature on maps.google.com

I will now write a report and hit myself repeatedly on the face with the my shovel. Oh, fuck! I forgot my shovel! Woh is me!

Z.Monkey

It has been a really crappy morning so far. First, I had to wake up, second, I had to come to work but these are normal occurances on Monday and not what really tick me off. Third, I have a vendor in this morning, fourth, I have to pick up said vendor from his hotel (rent a fucking car!), and, finally, I ran a test over the weekend (fucking 16,384 samples in 46 fucking hours) that apparently decided not to actually run. The question is, ‘Did the computer turn itself off? or did some dumbass turn it off even though there was a gigantic fucking sign that said: “TESTING”‘

Sigh, now I wait for my vendor to call so I can pick his ass up. Woooo. I guess I will read the news, etc. til the monkey taxi service is called into action. Fack you man.

Z.Monkey

Update:

Good news… I did not have to pick up the vendor. Bad news… the test I was running stopped because some fuck head unplugged the fucking power strip the PC was plugged into. I do not believe it was an accident because you have to crawl under a rack to get to the plug. Warlg! More bad news… I will now spend the next hour deleting the 800+ duplicate emails I just received. I blame microsoft for make shitty products. Maybe I’ll try using something different… hopefully I can painlessly transfer over 4 1/2 years of email. Even more bad news… I just ate lunch and I am still hungry. I have to leave so I can give Heidi the car as she does not want to be stuck on campus all day.

A Ninja-like SARS mask.

Jar!